Here’s What Giving A Creepy Guy Your Number Looks Like Part 1

About a week ago, I made the mistake of giving a guy I didn’t know my number under the pretenses of well, you know, being friends. I do believe that men and women can do that. Unfortunately, for me, he got annoying really quickly. Fortunately, for you, this might humor you and cause you to think twice or maybe even three times before giving anyone your number.

Here’s how it all started, I was picking up some food that I’d ordered over the phone from a Chinese food place not too far from my house. As I was walking toward the place I saw two guys sitting outside. The closer I got, I could tell that they were staring at me. For some of you ladies, two guys staring at you may come across as flattering and you may think oh my goodness I’m such a baddie—okay, that was a little over exaggerated, but you get the general idea. Anyways, what I’m trying to say is that it was an awkward situation for me and also slightly creepy. But for whatever reason, whenever something like this happens to me I acknowledge the starees (yes, I just made that up).

So as I walked past the two gentlemen I simply smiled and said “Hello.” And the moment after I did this, one of the guys responded with, “Oh damn, you sound like someone old enough I could talk to.” I ignored it and continued on to pick up my food. While I was waiting, I noticed one of the guys had came inside the food place and his friend was still outside. At that moment I just knew that they had a whole game plan that they were about to run on me. So I walked out the door and here’s how the conversation went—I promise I’m not making this up. And also, anything italicized is what I remember thinking, it wasn’t said out loud.

Guy: Excuse me, can I talk to you for minute?

Me: I knew it. Yes, sure.

Guy: How you doing? What’s your name?

Me: It’s Danielle and I’m doing good.

Guy: Okay, first how old are you?

Me: 19.

Guy: Okay, you of age. What you do?

Me: I work and go to school?

Guy: What school?

Me: Long Beach state.

Guy: What’s your major?

Me: Pre-bio.

Guy: Oh okay, damn so you smart. You got a boyfriend? Where yo boyfriend at?

Me: No. Shit, I should’ve said yes. Is it too late to say yes? I should just say I’m a lesbian. No, that won’t work. 

Guy: Can I have your number?

Me: Hell no. Uh sure, (562) 668- xxxx

Guy: Okay, Ima call you.

Me: No, just text me.

Guy: Okay, Ima text you.

It wasn’t until after the conversation that I realize he was drilling me with questions. Like it happened so fast that I didn’t even have time to make up a good lie in order to get out of giving this guy my number. But I don’t know, judging his conversation, he seemed like a decent guy that I could be platonic friends with. So maybe that’s why I gave him my number. But a few days went by and I didn’t hear from him at all. Apparently there’s like this three day rule or however may days guys wait to hit up a girl after receiving her number.

Days later, he calls me…And I’m thinking did I not tell you to text me? His excuse was that his phone couldn’t text. But whatever… Despite my subtle attitude for his lack of following directions and him thinking it was a nice gesture, we held a brief conversation. We mostly talked about him, what he did that day, what I did, what he does/wants to do. We hung up and I told him I would talk to him sometime later. Which in my book usually means a week.

He called me again the next day and for the most part it was going well until he invited me over. ATTENTION TO ALL MALES the quickest way to tank anything with me is to invite me over when I:

1. Don’t know you or anything about you

2. Don’t even like you or show you any kind of mutual liking or even consider you a friend

3. Don’t even talk to you on a regular basis

4. Don’t even want to come over

And I know I said I was only trying to be friends with this guy so reason 2 should be thrown out, but he hit all four NO NO’S. There is a lot I could be hating in life right now, but there is nothing I hate more than when a guy I don’t really know asks me if I want to “come over and watch a movie.” If you’re going to just try for the P, you need to at least put some effort in before I inevitably refuse to give it up. But now, any douche with a laptop and an internet connection and his sister’s friend’s cousin’s roommate’s dog’s Netflix account thinks he can hit? No and no.

So anyways, he called me saying he was upset that I didn’t “stick to our plans.” When one, I never said that I was going over and two, I’m sorry if you didn’t know that “I’ll see” means no asshole. After that, I was pretty much done with this guy. And you would think he would’ve gotten the picture once I had an excuse for every time he wanted to hang out. So I figured, if I didn’t answer his calls, he would leave me alone right? Wrong. My problem has now became worst…

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Please note that these are not all the incoming calls that I’ve received from him. If I had to guess I’d say I have gotten 30+ phone calls from him. I mean, you’ve gotta give it to him this guy is pretty consistent with what he wants, although I’m not sure of what that is. And this is all current, he’s called me 3 times today within a 1-2 hour period. But apparently he’s determined to get a reply because while writing this post I received a text from him.

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I could have sworn this guy said that he couldn’t text? If this isn’t the definition of a creep then I don’t know what is. If you must know, I haven’t said anything to this guy that would influence him to pursue me. There’s actually been a lot of guys that I’ve met who developed stalker characteristics and I’m not trying to brag. The shit is creepy as hell. I will try to let him down as bluntly and easily as I can.

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