We Talk All This Shit, But We Still Lack Communication

Every now and then I like to challenge myself to go a week or two without social media and texting. It’s essentially a social experiment that I like to do on myself, but the irony in it all is that… when I don’t indulge in technology I feel more alive, I feel more productive, and it’s just a new found freedom (for me).

I miss the days when I had to ask my mom to use the house phone to call a friend and then that friend would call another friend and that one another and another.. and somehow we’d managed to have a freakin’ 10 way phone call with everyone talking over each other, but cracking mad jokes aka “shooting.”

I miss the days when if you wanted to see your crush or just to be in his or her presence.. you had to wait the next day or two because there wasn’t anything such as Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat.

I miss days when my friends (who essentially were family) and I would have endless sleepovers that lasted so long that they forgot my room wasn’t theirs (haha).

I miss the days when all the kids on da bloc would ride their bikes, scooters, and skateboards together (‘cuz we stayed mobbin’).

I miss the days when we took head up crump battles hella serious.

I miss the end of camp days when everyone exchanged house phone or chirp numbers (one-two-six-star).

But most importantly, I miss the days when children actually had a childhood and practiced true communication skills. When WE practiced true communication skills. Because the truth is…I hate texting and social media along with it. And you’re probably thinking… “guuuuuural, why u stuntin for tha blog? I wuz just texting you tah-day!” Of course, I have my exceptions i.e if you’re family, a best-friend, a close friend, or someone I simply like so that adds up to about… a handful of people.

If I had to describe my inbox, I’d say it’s similar to a customer feedback survey that asks “How Am I Doing?” Because more often that not, it’s filled with people who complain that I don’t reply and that I’m inattentive. There’s a small few of you who understand that just because I’m not texting you doesn’t mean that I’m not concerned about you. I find it meaningless to keep a conversation going on too long when I know I’d rather you be there in person. Although, if something interesting happens, you have something funny to share or you simply just want to check in on me to see how I am/ how’s my day going then I can chat for a few.

And snapchat is fun, but it gets old to me and it’s a shame how I can not upload on my story for like a week and people would start to think I’ve disappeared or something (it has happened before). I actually had a conversation with my friend once because he posted something that said “It’s hard to vibe with someone that ain’t on the same mental level as you. I’m trying to make a million, while you on snapchat.” And I was like man you took the cake right out of my mouth!

Snapchat is time consuming. Plus, the idea behind it gets creepier and creepier to me everyday. I don’t like people knowing my daily activities when I haven’t told them and they’re just like “I saw you did/went” (unless you bae hahaha). I mean… I get a kick out it when I’m bored, but y’all not cutting me a check for my snaps so what really is the gain here? And why is it that we always run to social media when we are bored, when we first wake up in the morning, or when you’re not doing anything throughout the day? Really think about that.

I just believe that there are other things to do, than being hooked on my phone. Plus I hate it when, I don’t respond and then I use another form of social media and then whoever I didn’t reply to thinks I’m ignoring them and it’s not like I’m ignoring them maliciously …I just don’t feel the need to go hard for texting.  It’s convenient, but I can’t get to know someone the way that I would like to via technology. If you haven’t guess… I’m an in person kind of person. I like to read body language, make eye contact, watch your gestures, hear your laugh, and essentially vibe off of each other’s energy.

And the truth is… texting hinders your ability to do any of that. I don’t know if anyone realizes it but it cripples you. People use texting and technology as a crutch to hide from real conversations and emotions sometimes. It’s easy to IM someone every day with small talk or good mornings or I miss you or I love you or anything! But when it comes down to real interactions it’s awkward. Which is why I like to get to know people in person from the ground up.

I know there’s probably societal rules against a girl asking to take a guy out, but I actually tried it once and here’s how it ended up going for me

Pretty sad right? If anything, I thought he’d be flattered and that guys would sort of take it as a compliment and possibly think “Wow, she really wants to get to know me,” but NAH BRUH that wasn’t the case (haha). I wasn’t hurt by the reply or anything, I was more so bothered by it because there’s no way in hell that you can get to know someone via text and you sure as hell can’t build through text messages either.

I bet you my bottom dollar and my bottom bihh that you can’t go anywhere without seeing people with their heads down into their cellphones. It saddens me. I really miss the good old days and ways of communication that were full of people who actually enjoyed life. You ever notice how elderly folks almost always have some of the wildest, craziest, yet amazing stories of when they were young and full of life? Each day we take one step closer and closer to drifting away from what quality time actually means. I’m curious to know what kind of stories the younger generation will have.


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